America’s Got Talent auditions are coming to New York, for those with talent and without it

america's got talent

These are the kinds of folks you’ll be competing against, FYI. via Facebook

So you saw the chance to audition for the new Star Wars movies, but space nerd stuff isn’t really your thing. You’re more about the singing and the dancing and the puppets and the entertaining from the heart, not special effects. A, ah, what do you call it…oh! A theater nerd. Well it’s your lucky day theater nerds of New York, because America’s Got Talent is rolling into town this weekend to see if you in fact have the talent you claim to. Mostly, this is your big chance to be on TV!

The America’s Got Talent auditions will take place on Saturday and Sunday, at the Mercedes-Benz of Manhattan (770 11th Ave) starting at 8am. It’s important to show up on time, because the auditions are first-come,first-serve. So if you oversleep slightly, America will never learn how good you are at putting an extra white sheen on a blues song that the Rolling Stones already whitewashed 40 years ago. You don’t have to register though, so feel free to just show up and prove your talent, provided you bring the correct paperwork with you, because nothing says “Excitement!” like the proper legal protections for NBC and its affiliates from now until perpetuity.

Of course, we snark, but the prize for the show, which is somehow in its ninth season, is a cool one million dollars. And if you read the ol’ Brokelyn dot com, you could probably use one million dollars. You don’t have to worry about getting nervous in front of the likes of Howie Mandel and Howard Stern and Nick Cannon, because these auditions will be in front of producers, not the actual judges themselves. They’re too busy being famous, having previously shown they have talent themselves. See how that works?