Back up, E.T.

In news that your friend who’s “really into crystals” can probably decipher for you better than we can, Brooklyn is on the lips of UFO spotters after a video surfaced last week claiming to capture UFOs hovering above Vanderbilt Avenue. What were they doing here we wonder? Well, considering that radio waves just travel through space after being broadcast on Earth, we have no problem believing that “Juicy” made its way to the home base of the little grey men/super advanced lizard race, and they decided they wanted to meet the hypnotic entertainer behind it. But once they got here and learned he’s long since shuffled off the mortal coil, they went back to where they came from. Hopefully not to get their friends. Brownstoner has their own theory that they came for the schools, which makes about as much sense, since we all know aliens are total helicopter parents.

Very uh, compelling