A growing concern: The 3rd Annual NYC Beard and Moustache Competition

The competition is gonna get awful hairy. via IFC

Do you love your facial hair more than your dog? More than your girlfriend? Do you consider your Fu Manchu ‘stache not just lip decoration but a way of life? Do you buy and use beard oil? If you answered yes to any of those questions, or if you just have a really sweet beard or moustache, you can get the recognition you richly deserve at the Warsaw this Saturday at the 3rd Annual New York City Beard and Moustache Competition.

You think this is a game? The Gotham City Beard Alliance is not just some fly-by-night organization. Lack a killer instinct at this festival of facial hair and you’re gonna get waxed, and not in the good way. And while there is a “College” category for the 18-22 year olds out there, don’t think you can show up with some “Johnny’s First Moustache” lip caterpillar and make an impact here. Other categories include “Full Beard Over One Foot,” “Goatee,” and the wild card “Freestyle” competition.

Of course, what’s in it for you other than bragging rights, fame and the knowledge that you’re one of the Beard Lords of Brooklyn? If all of that is somehow not high stakes enough for you, there are also fabulous prizes for the winners from Greenpoint Tattoo, Crest Hardware, Beer Street, The Whiskey Shop and Blue Beards Original. But again, how can any tattoo possibly be worth more in the long run than knowing that you were judged to have the best mutton chops in all of New York City?

3rd Annual NYC Beard and Moustache Competition, Saturday, December 8, 7pm, The Warsaw, 261 Driggs Avenue, Greenpoint, $15