Carroll Gardens/ Cobble Hill

A Canadian bagel for $2.50? Le Brokavore says ‘Mais non!’

Au revoir yourself, non cheri.
Au revoir, non cheri.

OK, let me get this straight. Certain Brooklyn foodies’ heart rates are climbing because tomorrow morning they’ll be able to wake up in the borough chosen by Yahweh as the spiritual home of the bagel, hot-foot it to Boerum Hill and buy one freshly imported across international lines, from a country where Tim Horton is a culinary icon? And for this they’re going to lay down a schmear-melting $2.50US a pop?

More specifically, for those who’ve tuned out the bloggery, they’ll be able to go to Mile End on Hoyt Street and walk out with a bagel express delivered overnight by car from the St-Viateur bagel bakery in Montreal.

There are so many things wrong with this scenario that the mind reels trying to count them. (And I’m not even counting the possibility that someone might ask for an everything bagel using the words tout garni.) Suffice it to say that at Brokelyn, it’s an egregious enough assault on our most cherished values that you might as well just shoot us right now. Or worse, make us move to Queens.

So we’ll just point out this. Well before dawn cracks tomorrow, at an hour when Mile End’s couriers may still be dodging moose on the Canadian interstate, Brooklyn native and Bagel Hole owner Phil Romanzi will wake up in his Brooklyn home, head to his shop on Seventh Avenue in South Park Slope, rev up his ovens and begin turning out malty, crusty bagels of peerless quality, Brooklyn-style. From his hearth to your mouth in minutes. Eighty cents apiece, $1.35 with butter. As our Canadian friends might say, Bon appetit.

The Bagel Hole, where you can find The Brokavore on most weekend mornings. (But that's not him.)
The Bagel Hole, where you can find The Brokavore on most weekend mornings. (But that's not him.) Photo by Jil Harrison.



10 Comments

  1. Oh, don’t mind the Brokavore. He trash-talks when he gets worked up. Anyway, he lives in Jersey. But Crap On Queens Week does have a certain ring to it.

  2. david

    except that montreal bagels are actually the greatest, and as a new yorker i have no shame in admitting it. the same jews that opened up bagel shops in new york at the turn of the 20th century did it in montreal too, and the water quality up there is just better for baking bread.

    2.50 is pretty outrageous, but it’s worth it

  3. bagelfreak

    you can’t compare new york (sorry, ‘brooklyn’) bagels with montreal bagels, they’re completely different products. and if you want a montreal bagel (who wouldn’t, they’re incredibly tasty), then $2.50 is your only bet

  4. Tyler

    Also… I might add… the availability of actually *good* (never mind great) bagels in Brooklyn is getting to be as hard as finding a bodega that doesn’t smell like cat piss… umm, even if there’s no resident cat.

  5. doomie

    Montreal bagels are an entirely different beast, and it has nothing to do with the water quality – they’re smaller and sweeter (since they’re flavored with honey)

    I definitely prefer Montreal-style and find New York’s bagel superiority complex hilarious.

  6. Thank goodness someone else is calling B.S. on Mile End and their bizarre boutique “shoppe”. $2.75 for a bagel is insane. And it takes all of 10 minutes to walk a few blocks and find a better and cheaper bagel elsewhere.

    But did you know that Mile End also has the Canadian balls to charge $5 for a small plate of FRIES. Not any kind of fancy Poutine or anything. Just fries. $5 for one sliced potato deep fried. That shouldn’t be more than $3.

    Big thumbs down to this place and the owner’s generally cocky attitude.

  7. I just tried a bagel from Mile End for the first time. I got it plain and that was a mistake; this was the driest bagel I have ever eaten. WAY overrated.

    Yes, I paid $2.50 for a stale bagel. Shoot me.

Leave a Reply