Well, here we are, in September somehow, stuck with back to school sales and people talking about pumpkin spice everything despite there being clear rules about seasonal creep. Guess fall is here and there’s nothing we can do…hey wait a minute! Summer isn’t over according to the seasons until September 23! That means there’s plenty of ways for you to enjoy the season before fall finally takes the stage, and even if things are moving a bit more to an indoor bent, it’s still technically a summer night out if you do something from this guide. So get out there and enjoy yourself, because summer won’t be back for another year.
Tuesday, September 1
Show encroaching fall the disrespect it deserves by watching a free outdoor movie, which we all know is the province of the summer. Luckily, you don’t have to see any old crap, not when you can see Goodfellas at the final Red Hook Flicks of the season. The movie itself is free and comes with fantastic views, and you can chow down on thematically-appropriate sausage, peppers and onions from local folks Homemade BBQ.
Wednesday, September 2
What’s better than just any old comedy show? A comedy show hosted by Sashseer Zamata. What’s better than a comedy show hosted by Sasheer Zamata? A comedy show hosted by Sasheer Zamata that also has free pizza from Williamsburg Pizza. That’s happening tonight at Sasheer Zamata Pizza Party Time at Union Hall, where the SNL star will be joined by the likes of Seaton Smith, Jo Firestone and a punk band called Penis.
Thursday, September 3
Fall will be here at some point unfortunately, and that means you’re gonna need some clothing for it. Get decked out like a rich person (for up to 80% off what they pay) and maybe fool one into marrying you, or at least buying you drinks, by stocking up at Housing Works’ Best of Fall sale at the thrift chain’s Brooklyn Heights location.
Friday, September 4
It’s Brooklyn Unicycle Day, the annual day in which the city’s unicycle enthusiasts ride across the Brooklyn Bridge and down to Coney Island. The good news is that you don’t have to be able to ride a unicycle in order to enjoy the day, you can just camp out along the route somewhere to see that this is a thing that actually happens, and even enjoy fireworks in Coney at 9:30pm whether you do the ride or not.
Saturday, September 5
Hey it’s a double dose of Coney Island, because today is the Coney Island Beard and Moustache Competition. Yes, finally, beards and moustaches will have a place to be appreciated in Brooklyn. But seriously, the facial hair on display at today’s competition should be weirder than the stuff you usually see, or at the very least less unkempt.
Sunday, September 6
Hey it’s still summer, do go to the beach! The ocean is real warm at this point and is perfect for even the biggest kvetchers about cold water. Which beach should you go to though? Good thing we’ve got the perfect quiz to match you up with a beach based on your personality and preferences. Just remember it’s legally binding and you have to go to the beach you wind up with.
Monday, September 7
Is there a better Labor Day tradition than the West Indian Day Parade? If you think there is, we’re not actually interested in hearing about it! Get a good spot on Eastern Parkway get an eyefull of the pageantry, the costumes and of course the terribly awkward politicians trying to look cool and human while dacning to the Caribbean beats.
Tuesday, September 8
What’s a great summer food? Hot dogs! What’s a great way to wash hot dogs down? Beer! Get high quality versions of both things as hot dog o.g. revival Feltman’s hot dogs sets up at Sycamore on the same night that Transmitter Brewing will be serving up some rare and special beers they’ve got.
Wednesday, September 9
The sun doesn’t wake up quite as early as it once did, but you should make the effort to drag your ass out of bed today because it’s time for The Wake Up, Bed-Stuy’s only anti-police brutality early morning dance party. If you’re ever gonna wake up early to dance, it may as well be for a party where your admission fee is going towards helping out a local Black Lives Matter chapter, especially because you can use your moral superiority cloud to float above your co-workers all day.
Thursday, September 10
They call it “Thirsty Thursday” for a reason, and that reason is because everyone is so thirsty for it to be Friday already that they try to slake that thirst with huge quantities of alcohol. Don’t just be satisfied quenching that thirst with drinking the usual dank hole you’re used to, though. Instead, pick a drinking spot from our guide which has every Brooklyn outdoor drinking spot you could ever imagine and revel in the out of doors while you flip off the moon, which is showing up earlier than it had been previously.
Friday, September 11
Before you start looking at at fond remembrances of your summer, which again isn’t over yet, how about looking back at things you might not have even been here to experience? Things like the days when squatters ruled the city, which you can check out at Brooklyn’s Last Squat City, an exhibit detailing NYC’s underground squatter culture from the late 80s and early 90s before the police and real estate industry basically stomped it out for good.
Saturday, September 12
You don’t have to go back to school (hopefully), but that doesn’t mean you can’t get a little academic. Take tonight for instance, in which Drunk Ted Talks explores the phenomenon of the Kardashians, with the likes of Gabby Noone, Rachel Syme and others presenting lectures on Kim K. with titles like “Kris Jenner: Hollywood’s Most Successful Dance Mom” and “Mona Lisa Simile: Who Kim K. is Like and the Female Body as Art History.”
Sunday, September 13
It’s been many years since the Warriors ruled the roost in Coney Island and escaped every gang in New York City as they journeyed from the Bronx back to their home turf. Tonight, for one night only, you can see the whole cast of the movie in what’s being billed as the first and last Warriors reunion to ever happen at Coney Island. Not only can you meet the cast for autographs, there’ll also be a cosplay contest for the best dressed gang members there, a screening of the movie and a performance by hardcore legends Sick Of It All.
Monday, September 14
If there’s any downside to summer in Brooklyn, it’s Nitehawk’s Simpsons Club packing it in for the season and leaving the borough Simpsons-less, beyond of course you watching the DVDs over and over. Still, there’s something nice about watching a few 90s-era episodes with other Simpsons fanatics, especially when the episodes come with the commercials and other ephemera of the time. Tonight’s the night the Simpsons Club comes back from their summer vacation, so pack in downstairs and see what they’re showing in their glorious return.
Tuesday, September 15
Staring at pictures is a fun way to pass the time, which we suppose is one reason why Facebook has been so successful. Rather than sit inside and stare at pictures of you and your ex back when you used to know happiness, head to Brooklyn Bridge Park and stare at pictures at Photoville, a two-week exhibition that turns shipping containers into photo galleries featuring the work of 65 professional photographers. The event starts on September 10, and while it’s definitely going to draw crowds through the whole run, we think a Tuesday a few days after it starts should be a good time to avoid the worst of the crowds.
Wednesday, September 16
Summer is all about traveling, even if sometimes that journey just means going across the river to Manhattan. It’s worth it tonight though, because The Special Without Brett Davis is taping one of their insane episodes with special guest PWR BTTM, who’ve been highlighted as being great in this very space. The taping is totally free, and you can RSVP by just emailing thespecialwithout [AT] gmail.com.
Thursday, September 17
Dance outdoors because it’s still summer! Tonight, you can head to Downtown and show off your best b-boy moves at a free hip-hop dance night at Willoughby Plaza. Don’t know enough, or any, b-boy moves? There’s a dance class right before the event so you can get schooled.
Friday, September 18
Who needs Sundance? Certainly not us, not when we’ve got the Coney Island Film Festival to keep us entertained. The opening night of the festival has a screening of burlesque documentary Trixie and Monkey as well as a party at the Freak Bar with a sideshow and a two-hour open bar.
Saturday, September 19
Rockaway has kicked so much ass at the Mermaid Parade the last couple of years, they’ve decided to do their own art parade devoted to celebrating the art and the ocean, Poseidon’s Parade. Just like the Mermaid Parade, there’ll be floats and crazily-dressed groups of people marching on the route, celebrating Rockaway’s resilience and the magic of the summer, which are two things we always recommend people celebrate.
Sunday, September 20
Brooklyn is a borough that’s steeped in literature, so of course it makes sense we have an entire day devoted to it. This year is the 10th anniversary of the Brooklyn Book Festival and an absolute slew of writer celebrities are showing up Downtown, including Augusten Burroughs, Sloane Crosley, Rahawa Haile, Chris Kluwe, Saeed Jones, Jonathan Lethem, Jason Diamond, Kiese Laymon, Tavi Gavenon, Zephyr Teachout and SO MANY more, so honestly just make it your business to be there.
Well, it’s the day before the last day of summer, and there’s nothing much you can do to stop it. Instead of fruitlessly working on a time machine, take a day off of work (make something up) and spend the day hiking in the Ridgewood Reservoir. Some time in nature to think back on your summer could be good for your mental health, we think.
It’s no surprise that summer and baseball go so well together. To truly appreciate both, you need to appreciate the idea of slowing things down, sometimes to the point where people can’t tell if there’s any action at all. So, say goodbye to summer by watching the Mets (who still might be in first place by now) play the hated Atlanta Braves at Citi Field. And as for summer, just comfort you with a phrase made famous by Brooklyn’s own baseball fans: Wait ’til next year.