6 places to watch the Oscars tonight (and one anti-Oscars party)

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The crowds at these parties will be just as cool, don’t you worry

The Academy Awards are here again, which means it’s time to get all dolled up and watch with baited breath as Leonardo DiCaprio wins nothing. But what if you’re, ironically, a starving actor with no TV? Or if you’re just someone who needs someone to grab onto if things start getting too wild? Whether you have strong opinions about the nominees for Best Live Action Short Film, or if you have no idea what Selma‘s about, here are places to watch selfie history unfold.

The Saint Catherine
660 Washington Avenue, Prospect Heights

The Saint Catherine knows you probably haven’t heard of most of the nominees, but they still accept you. They’ll have drinks ready to help you keep Joan Rivers’ memory alive by being sassy as hell as you watch all those celebrities march down the red carpet.

Littlefield
622 DeGraw Street, Gowanus

If you’re a little bit devastated you won’t be in LA this weekend, 1) maybe don’t say that too loud around here and 2) experience the glam Gowanus style at Littlefield. They’re getting together with the skint to host a big ole party with a red carpet pre-show, a Joan Rivers-esque interviewer, a photobooth, free champagne with RSVP, and free popcorn. On top of all that, they’ll have desserts from Daly Pie and movie-themed drink specials like Grand Marnier Budapest Hotel or Benedict PickleCumberbachs. Once again, littlefield has proven itself a worthy home for the Punderdome.

Mary’s Bar
708 5th Ave, South Slope

Mary’s Bar thinks every Best Actress nominee is a winner, which is why they’re dedicating a champagne drink to each actress. They also think you deserve to feel like a winner, so if arrive before 7pm you can enter a raffle for a $50 bar tab and a bottle of champagne. So sip on your Reese Witherspoon Black Velvet or your Keira Knightley Chanel No. 6 as you watch all the runners up in the audience awkwardly bottle their feelings.

Videology
308 Bedford Ave, Williamsburg

Videology knows their movies, but that shouldn’t stop you from defending your incredibly strong opinions on films you’ve only read about on IMDB. They’ll be showing live red carpet footage so you don’t have to miss a single sparkly minute of the night.

South 4th Bar
90 S. 4th Street, Williamsburg

The Academy Awards have been around for a while, and if you’re drawn in by all the glamorous tradition of it, we’ve got another Oscars tradition for you. South 4th Bar is having their 8th annual Oscars party, and they’re helping fight your Hollywood FOMO with $5 Palm Belgian Ales, fancy giveaways, prizes for best dressed attendees, a drink menu starring this year’s nominees, free popcorn and snacks all night.

Lowlands Bar
543 3rd Ave, Gowanus

If looking for an outlet for your need to constantly give em the old razzle dazzle, Lowlands Bar is your place. They’ll be having a costume contest with prizes, so steam that tux, redazzle that prom dress, because tonight is your night to be a damn star. We can’t guarantee there will be an opportunity for you to sing for a captive audience as you lay on top of a baby grand, but we can’t guarantee there won’t be either.

And the anti-Oscars party:

Freddy’s Bar
627 5th Avenue, South Slope

Choice is important, it’s what this nation was built on (sort of), which is why there’s a party for those of you who wish to enthusiastically opt out of the Oscars. Freddy’s Bar is hosting an anti-oscar’s party with screenings of films whose nominations got lost in the mail: Hot Dog…The Movie and Better Off Dead. Hot Dog…The Movie is the compelling tale of some sort of ski resort orgy, and Better Off Dead is a throwback to John Cusack’s earlier, angstier days, so they both win best picture in our hearts.