30 rock the vote: Donaghy for mayor?

From Mr. Kabletown to Mr. Mayor? via the Washington Post

Pity poor Alec Baldwin. Poor internationally famous, wealthy actor Alec Baldwin. The latest blow to his Oliver Twist-like life has come in the form of a poll from NY1 and Marist that revealed a full 66 percent of New Yorkers don’t even want him to try to run for mayor. New Yorkers can’t agree on the city’s best pizza (cough, My Little Pizzeria) or what the best borough is (it’s Brooklyn, duh), so to get a full 66 percent of them telling you to just stay home from even campaigning must hurt. Fortunately for the mayoral hopeful, the Brokelyn brain trust sat down and figured out a way for him to achieve his political dreams: run as Jack Donaghy.

Just think about it for a second. Alec Baldwin has a well-known anger problem, and because of his liberalism and wealth, can be pigeonholed as a limousine liberal. Not only that, the city’s Democratic politicians are gearing up for horrible bloodsport, with the Dems having been shut out of Gracie Mansion for the last twenty years. A bruising primary is not the place for a political novice. But Jack Donaghy is no Democrat.

NYC Republicans are already so desperate for a candidate that they’re trying to pull Rudy Giuliani out of retirement, so why not just go with a guy playing a character? Jack Donaghy is a successful executive, can connect with minority voters and has a gripping story about lifting himself out of poverty and escaping the hell that is south Boston. He’s worked with successful women without needing to find them in a binder and would be more palatable to the gay community than Ray Kelly or Marty Golden.

Oh sure, critics would say things like, “Jack Donaghy isn’t real,” but on a metaphysical level, once you’ve engaged with him, isn’t he real? And you can’t run the risk of ignoring such a master manipulator convincing an audience that you are the one that isn’t real. With his business credentials and steely voice, Jack Donaghy could be a terrifyingly effective candidate. So heed our words Alec. If you want to be mayor, this is probably the closest you’ll get.