16 horrifyingly fun Brooklyn Halloween events

Here's what you'll be up against if you enter Crest's pumpkin carving contest. via Crest Hardware

Here’s what you’ll be up against if you enter Crest’s pumpkin carving contest. via Crest Hardware

Every year as Halloween sneaks up, I feel blindsided by my time-sensitive inability to find plans I’m excited about for the Big Night. Halloween seems to validate its overrated place in the holiday pantheon every year, but 2013 will be different! No more noobs puking on my shoes or cramped, terrible parties where I get crushed between a drunk slutty nurse and a guy in a homemade Rubik’s cube costume who is really regretting his decision.

No! This year, my friends, I seek to get back to the basics: Pumpkins. Horror. Costumes. Monsters. Awesome people. PRIZES. Take a gander at your options for a fun, entertaining, and memorable All Hallow’s Eve:
CARVE OUT SOME FUN

Crest Arts 4th Annual Pumpkin Carving Contest at Crest Hardware
October 19, 6:30PM – 10PM
Crest Hardware, 536 Metropolitan Avenue, Williamsburg
Free to enter, $5 per pumpkin, up to four

This entirely free event, which is suitable for all ages, takes place on October 19th at Crest Hardware in Williamsburg. You pre-carve your pumpkin(s), which eliminates Carving Day jitters and also allows do-overs, and bring them to the store where candles are provided to illuminate your handiwork. You’re limited to four pumpkins per person or team, and creativity is encouraged, as there are multiple categories in which your pumpkin can compete! Food, including chicken/tofu and waffle cones from Brooklyn Star, drinks and prizes abound.

Insider Advice: Coat your pumpkin’s design and insides (if you scraped any of it out) with Vaseline to preserve that freshly-cut look and extend the life of the carved pumpkin.

Pumpkin Carving, the Pixel Way at Pixel Academy
October 19, 12PM – 4PM
Pixel Academy, 163 Pacific Street, Cobble Hill
$35/$45

Looking for a new way to carve your pumpkin? Pixel Academy is offering an event on October 19 (from noon to 4pm) that includes sketching original ideas on Wacom tablets, digitally cutting the template, then using a micro-projector to help you trace your design before you start your supervised carving. You also have the choice of adding 3D-printed parts to your pumpkin, a la Mr. Potatohead. Pumpkin painting and Halloween-themed cartoons are also included, and the modded-up gourd is yours to keep. One day you can tell your grandchildren about the first ever time you laser-designed a pumpkin for Halloween. Tickets for non-members are $45.

YUK IT UP

Gonna be a lot of Mileys at the Bell House this year

Gonna be a lot of Mileys at the Bell House this year

5th Annual HallowMEME costume party at The Bell House
October 24, 8:30PM
The Bell House, 149 7th Street, Gowanus
Free with RSVP

Yes, it is time for that Grumpy Cat t-shirt, Miley Cyrus foam finger or Scarlett Johansson falling costume you’ve been pondering to see the light of day. Join Forced Meme Productions for a Halloween party on October 24th to celebrate the lighter side of the Internet. Free with an RSVP to the EventBrite invite.

Matt and Meghan’s HaLOLween Comedy Show and Costume Contest
October 30, 7:30PM
Littlefield, 622 Degraw Street, Gowanus
$5

Also held at Littlefield, on October 30th, this comedy show is hosted by Matt Koff of The Onion and Meghan O’Neill of Story Pirates and features stand-up comics who will make you laugh so hard that you forget about your persistent childhood fear of those Scream masks. Your ticket makes you eligible to be a contestant in the costume contest, which will be judged by the comedians. If you have iron will, a fantastic costume and a sense of humor, this is your calling for the night. Tickets $5-$8 and the event features cash (and non-cash) prizes.

A HINT OF HORROR

Pushing Daisies: Trivia from the Dark Side
October 22, 7pm
Brooklyn Historical Society, 128 Pierrepoint Street, Brooklyn Heights
$15

Green-wood Cemetery is teaming up with the Brooklyn Historical Society to find out how much you know about those places where the bodies are buried. If you know more than anyone else, you’re a little weird, but you also win prizes, and there’s nothing like getting prizes for being weird. Plus your ticket comes with a free drink, to help loosen up your knowledge glands.

The Amazing Halloween Scavenger Hunt – Brooklyn at Red Star
Octover 26, 5pm
Red Star Bar, 37 Greenpoint Avenue, 11222
$20

A smartphone-enabled scavenger hunt/obstacle course through Greenpoint and Williamsburg is a great way to build up your appetite for pumpkin ale, not to mention ideal for finding commuting shortcuts you never knew existed. There will be prizes for best costume, best team name, and best team spirit. Tickets to this costume-mandatory event on October 26th are $20. If you want more bang for your buck, organizer POGO Events has teamed with Red Star to offer a $30 entry package to both the scavenger hunt and Quiet Events Halloween Costume Party.

Quiet Events Halloween Costume Party at Red Star
October 26, 9pm – 3AM
Red Star Bar, 37 Greenpoint Avenue, Greenpoint
$25

This is a novel approach to the normally overwhelming DJ-in-a-bar scenario, and it sounds like it could be cool as well as profitable. Online tickets are $25, $35 at the door on October 26th. That cost includes your rental of headphones—yes, headphones—which can be volume-controlled (!) and tuned to one of three DJs that are spinning at the same time: Top 40/Classic Party songs, 80’s classics, and R&B/Hip-Hop. Pick your poison and enjoy $4 and $5 drink specials as long as you’re wearing a costume (why wouldn’t you be?). Specials are made with sponsor Vita Coco’s line of drinks.

Upon arrival, you are given a small amount of fake money, which you will need to combine with other’s fake money to reach $6.66, which then enables you to get raffle tickets for free. The raffle prizes are the big draw here: Cruise tickets for 2, a cruiser bike, a month’s supply of Vita Coco drinks, $100 gift card to Red Star, a 32” flat screen TV, and 6 VIP passes to Pacquiao vs Rios, plus more. Costume prizes for funniest costume, most homemade/original, and scariest.

Tiny Rhino: Horror Movie Edition at Littlefield
October 29, 7:30pm
Littlefield, 622 Degraw Street, Gowanus
$10

This Theatrical Drinking Party lets you support your neighborhood playwrights and directors while indulging your desire to play drinking games and revel in horror-themed dramatic irony. Each month, the buzzed-about theatre production company UglyRhino commissions six playwrights to compose original 10-minute plays that each include five specific elements. When you hear/see these elements, you drink! For Halloween, they’ve put a horror twist on all the stories, and the drinking cues, which can happen with any amount of frequency and will pop up wherever they want, are:

-When someone speaks in tongues
-Someone says, “I’ll be right back” (they NEVER come back, Halloween rule #1)
-Someone brandishes a weapon
-Someone gets cut
-We hear a classic horror movie theme

Murray Hill is never one to disappoint, especially on holidays. via Facebook

Murray Hill is never one to disappoint, especially on holidays. via Facebook

Sailor Jerry’s Halloween Bash: A Night of Burlesque and B-Movie Horror-Themed Costume Contest
October 31, 7pm – 4am
Passenger Bar, 229 Roebling Street, Williamsburg
Free

This sexy burlesque bash on October 31 features music by DJ Andy Rourke (the former bass player for The Smiths!) and nightclub expert/writer/DJ Steve Lewis. Doors open at 7pm, with an open bar from 7pm to 8pm (shot and a beer provided by PBR and Sailor Jerry), with the show starting at 8:30pm. Burlesque performers include Bettina May and Cassandra Rosebeetle, Harvest Moon, and Gin Minsky, with Mr. Showbiz himself, Murray Hill emceeing. Drink specials, prizes (including a guitar) and “other tricks and treats” are also on the docket, so wear your best B-movie horror costume!

Even if there is some conceivable way you don’t like rum, burlesque, music, or B horror films, you probably like The Smiths, so you can fangirl (from afar, don’t be that girl).

DANCES OF DEATH

BangOnNYC! Presents: Warehouse of Horrors
October 26, 9pm
299 Meserole Street, Bushwick
$45

The only actual horror involved with this event sounds like the price, but you do get a lot of fun for your money. Along with tons of DJs playing music everyone can hear, there’s a silent disco, a haunted house, a suspension show and acorbatic performance, plus the promise of “surprises at sunrise.” Hopefully not of the “dude you were flirting with is actually a gross jerk” variety.

R.I.t.E on Halloween Night
October 31, 9pm
Brooklyn Masonic Temple, 317 Claremont Avenue, Clinton Hill
$20

“Phantasmagorical visuals”? “Satanic DJ sets”? Presumably there’ll be a defibrillator on hand to help people out who get scared to death while dancing. But if you don’t die, sounds like a good night.

The Roberta’s Halloween Extravaganza
November 2 and November 3, 11am – 9pm
Roberta’s, 261 Moore Street, Bushwick
FREE

Roberta’s is out to outdo everyone again, hosting a Halloween party that goes for two days instead of just one. They’ll be turning their yard into a haunted garden/beer garden and hosting contests of the pumpkin carving and costume variety, slinging custom cocktails hosting a dance party and making promises that things might get weird. Probably should just disregard the “might.”

Pulsewave Spooktacular: Part BOO
November 2, 8pm
Launchpad, 721 Franklin Avenue, Crown Heights
$10

If dancing with nerds in costume is your thing, you can mark this down on your calendar. Not just any music, chiptune is music made with 8-bit sound programs from the NES days. This particular iteration of Pulsewave will feature both Led Zeppelin and Queen chiptune cover DJs, so if you’ve ever wanted to dance to a Nintendo-ized version of “Don’t Stop Me Now,” here’s your chance.

THROWBACK THEMES

Relive the days when Kermit thirsted for blood, at Union Hall

Relive the days when Kermit thirsted for blood, at Union Hall

Muppet Vault: Monsters! at Union Hall
October 30, 7:30pm
Union Hall, 702 Union Street, 11215
$8

Not so in to actual horror on Halloween? I feel you. Because a happy medium is for boring people, there’s Muppet Vault: Monsters!, being held at Union Hall on October 30th. Muppet Vault, a monthly series that shows classic and rare footage of the Muppets, Sesame Street, and other Jim Henson creations, has compiled some of the silliest scary moments from these outlets to compliment the screening of The Muppet Show episode featuring horror legend Vincent Price. The event includes trivia and prizes, drink specials, and a special treat for those that show up in Muppet costumes. Tickets are $8.

Okayplayer presents: Shouting at the Screen, with Wyatt Cenac and Donwill
October 31, 8:30pm
Indie Screen, 285 Kent Avenue, Williamsburg
$10

Finally, a place where talking during the movie is not only accepted, but actively encouraged. Let Wyatt Cenac and Donwill guide you to making fun of the weirdest Blaxploitation movies of the 70s, and then follow that up by dancing away the calories gained from eating candy and watching movies for two hours.

My So-Called Prom: A ‘90s Halloween Party with The Bayside Tigers at The Bell House
October 31, 8pm
The Bell House, 149 7th Street, Gowanus
$12

This one almost speaks for itself. It says: “Party time, excellent!” The Bayside Tigers will perform an all-grunge and alternative set of the greatest ‘90s hits on October 31, so put on your best Seattle circa 1991 flannels, torn denims and Chucks, and forget about normal levels of hygiene because this is going to smell like teen twenty-something spirit. Doors at 8pm. Tickets $12 in advance, $15 at the door.

That’s all, Brokes! Have fun out there and be safe, and let us know if there are any other parties out there!