Get a sugar high, and 11 other free things to do this week

See Liv Tyler, your first fantasy girl, on the screen in McCarren this week.

Listings taken from our Brokelyn events calendar. Don’t see yours listed? Add it today!

1. Summer is ending. Take refuge in laughter. (Monday)

2. Finally, someone is here to satisfy your deep curiosity about vocoders. (Monday)

3. Brooklyn’s newest lit celeb reads aloud under the Brooklyn Bridge. (Monday)

4. Bring the tween kids you babysit to see Blade so that they can learn that vampires are THE WORST. (Tuesday)

5. Our house has a very very very sick beat, with chill grooves in the yard. (Tuesday)

6. Damn the man! Save the overrated ’90s nostalgia Empire! (Wednesday)

7. Comedians, as we all know, are paragons of relationship stability and mental health. (Wednesday)

8. You may always be a loser if you skip this Titus Andronicus show, especially cuz it has free beer. (Thursday)

9. The Big Chill: A terrifying reminder that one day we all become aging Baby Boomers. (Thursday)

10. Since we’re going to colonizing Mars ANY MINUTE NOW, it’s perhaps a good time to learn about space. (Thursday)

11. Hang out at the DUMBO Archway and listen to some music. Just don’t ask Prince Rama about the succession crisis in his homeland of Pawtracksia. (Friday)

12. You know what they say: speed dating leads to speed heartbreak (no one says that). (Friday)